HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION

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Beyond the physical sensation, rejection also strikes at our need for acceptance and belonging. Humans are social creatures, and our desire to connect developed through evolution. Beginning when humans lived together as hunter-gatherer groups, individuals who easily integrated into the tribe were more likely to survive and reproduce.

Keep an eye on your health, both physical and mental. It's easy to become so wrapped up in disappointment that you let things slip. Exercising or learning a new skill keeps you from ruminating about rejection and focuses your brain. You focus on the present, not dwelling on the past.

Rejection doesn't have to be about the big stuff like not getting into your top college, not making the team, or not getting asked to prom. Everyday situations can lead to feelings of rejection, too, like if your joke didn't get a laugh, if no one remembered to save you a seat at the lunch table, or if the person you really like talks to everyone but you.

Feeling rejected is the opposite of feeling accepted. But being rejected (and we all will be at times) doesn't mean someone isn't liked, valued, or important. It just means that one time, in one situation, with one person, things didn't work out.

Rejection hurts. But it's impossible to avoid it altogether. In fact, you don't want to: People who become too afraid of rejection might hold back from going after something they want. Sure, they avoid rejection, but they're also 100% guaranteed to miss out on what they want but won't try for.

Let's start with feelings: If you get rejected, acknowledge it to yourself. Don't try to brush off the hurt or pretend it's not painful. Instead of thinking "I shouldn't feel this way," think about how normal it is to feel like you do, given your situation.

When you're dealing with a painful emotion like rejection, it's easy to get caught up in the bad feeling. But dwelling on the negative stuff can feel like living the experience over and over again. Not only does it keep hurting, it becomes harder to get past the rejection.

So admit how you feel but don't dwell on it. Avoid talking or thinking about it nonstop. Why? Negative thinking influences our expectations and how we act. Getting stuck in a negative outlook might even bring about more rejection. It certainly doesn't inspire a person to try again.

Now on to what you think: Consider how you're explaining the rejection to yourself. Are you being too hard on yourself? It's natural to wonder, "Why did this happen?" When you give yourself an explanation, be careful to stick to the facts.

Tell yourself: "I got turned down for prom because the person didn't want to go with me." Don't tell yourself: "I got turned down because I'm not attractive" or "I'm such a loser." These aren't facts. They're imagining a reason, reading too much into a situation. If put-down thoughts like these start creeping into your mind, shut them down.

If you start blaming yourself for the rejection or put yourself down, you can start believing you'll always be rejected. Thoughts like, "I'll never get a date" or "No one will ever like me" amplify a simple rejection to disaster level. Rejection can hurt a lot and can be terribly disappointing, but it's not the end of the world.

If your skills weren't strong enough this time, maybe you need to work on your game, your studies, your interview technique, or whatever it takes to improve your chances of getting accepted next time. Use the rejection as an opportunity for self-improvement.

Sometimes a rejection is a harsh reality check. But if you approach it right, it could help nudge you in a direction that turns out to be the perfect fit for your talents, personality, and all the really great things that make you who you are.

You need to remain polite and professional. If you take the rejection well and remain courteous, your prospect will remember that. If they need your services in the future, they will remember your good attitude and will approach you first.

Rejection is an almost unavoidable aspect of being human. No one has ever succeeded in love or in life without first facing rejection. We all experience it, and yet, those times when we do are often the times we feel the most alone and outcast.

There are many ways to learn to deal with rejection. These include psychological tools and techniques that involve reflecting on our past, enhancing our self-understanding, and strengthening our sense of self in order to feel more self-possessed and strong in coping with a current struggle and facing the future. Here we highlight some of the most powerful personal strategies for how to deal with rejection.

Thank you so muchReading your column helps me a lot to rethink and recomposing myself from the bad experiences I have been through, it is very insightful and I can relate my feelings thank you now I can try to deal with it in positive way

I have struggled a lot and have been through many forms of rejection, but I wish I read this article earlier to know how to cope with my struggle! I have overcome a similar way and the end result is a happy life and shooting self confidence!

This is a very informative blog, thanks for sharing about how to deal with rejection. It will help a lot; these types of content should get appreciated. I will bookmark your site; I hope to read more such informative contents in future. Visit us @

Great article, helped me a lot to understand that rejection is not always is about me and what I did wrong, but is also about him as well and his insecurities.Thank you so much amazing knowledge and approach to such an important subject nowadays.

Other things you can do to manage your feelings of rejection include, reading an uplifting book, spend time with a friend and uplifting people, read related stories of how people overcame rejection, stop thinking about it so much, cope with the pain by planning new opportunities, wear your best clothes to build your confidence, and showcase an attitude of gratitude for the relationships in your life where you receive kindness.

When mastering how to deal with rejection, distracting yourself with something productive could be a good idea. While burying your feelings leads to an eventual leak or explosion of emotions, moving on to something else can be a healthy way of dealing with rejection. For example, you can spend time with a friend or strangers in the world. You can choose to avoid the painful situation by playing video games, talking to other people, looking for other opportunities, or even studying how to become better.

Rejection is a part of academic life, just as it is part of the corporate world, nonprofit sector, and things we do every single day. Somehow though, rejection in academia seems personal because someone, usually a total stranger, is judging your work.

My colleague Shannon Orr and I edited a book called Reflections on Academic Lives. In it, we start with what we called an ode to rejection because, believe it or not, rejection can actually be a positive thing if you let it.

That article? You do not see that it was rejected three times before. The grants? You do not see the countless rejections and revisions each went through. His message is to look beyond the success to see the silver lining in rejections.

Here I share with you some advice that has helped me cope with rejection. This list is not exhaustive, and some of the things might not work for you. I would be thrilled to hear other tips and tricks you have learned that can also support me with continued rejection.

I tell my students now that rejection does not bother me as much, and they look at my strangely. Notice I said as much. Because when it stops bothering me totally that means I have given up and do not care.

So if you are not sure how to handle rejection, talk to someone. Colleagues have all been through it so they can lend an ear. Talk to friends. All I am suggesting is that you do not hold in rejection, because perhaps from talking comes a partnership you did not expect, or an idea you never would have had prior.

Be open with your students about this omnipresent academic reality. I like to walk my students through the ways in which I revised a paper. I also tell them when I had to simply let a project languish. It is okay to admit that something did not work out the first time. Or even the second time.

Staci M. Zavattaro, PhD, is an associate professor of public administration and a research associate with the Center for Public and Nonprofit Management at the University of Central Florida. She serves as editor-in-chief of the international journal Administrative Theory & Praxis.

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) makes it harder to focus, pay attention, and sit still. Most people who have ADHD are also very sensitive to what other people think or say about them. This is sometimes called rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), which is not a medical diagnosis, but a way of describing certain symptoms associated with ADHD.

People who have the condition sometimes work hard to make everyone like and admire them. Or they might stop trying and stay out of any situation where they might get hurt. This social withdrawal can look like social phobia, which is a serious fear of being embarrassed in public.

RSD can affect relationships with family, friends, or a romantic partner. The belief that you're being rejected can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you act differently toward the person you think has rejected you, they may begin to do so for real.

When you have ADHD, your nervous system overreacts to things from the outside world. Any sense of rejection can set off your stress response and cause an emotional reaction that's much more extreme than usual.

Sometimes the criticism or rejection is imagined, but not always. ADHD researchers estimate that by age 12, children with ADHD get 20,000 more negative messages about themselves than other kids their age. All that criticism can take a real toll on their self-esteem. 2b1af7f3a8